Falling again?

Ever have one of those days when you need to talk but can't? Is there any person who will chat about whatever just to make me feel better?

Who will make me feel better?

If there's really someone that can make me feel better... can I talk? Can that someone really understand my 'talk'? Who will understand? Even he doesn't understand.

Can I keep it to myself? It definitely will kill me.
Must I talk to someone? It's my privacy.

For the sake of 'us'... I really need that someone to talk to but who?
Who can I trust? Who can help me dealing with this huge burden in me?

Enough suffering... I badly need that someone. Someone that really can understand what I'm going through now. Someone that can help me.

I've tried talking to him. I let him know how I felt this couple of months. He may thinks this is nothing... it just another problem that can be solve but it hurts me so much. My heart is falling apart. I'm falling apart.

When I look at you

Everybody needs inspiration...

Everybody needs a song...

A beautiful melody...

When the nights so long...

You are my inspiration...

You are my song...

You are my melody...

Dreadful Waiting!!!

It has been two dreadful day since he left to BTN. I have never been apart from him without hearing him!!! Gosh!!! I feel broken!!! I miss him terribly!!!

All this while, even he went away for as long as two weeks but I still can hear him... this time, not even a sms. What should I do??? What should we do??? Should we change our line, sayang???

DIGI!!! I thought it will follow you where ever you go but now, look what happen!!!

Allah SWT knows how I've been through this two days and I have to wait for another day for him to come back. Give me the strength. I can manage this, I guess??? But like people saying... you will never know how you really feel for someone until you are apart from the 'someone'.

I know he misses me and the kids terribly too but nothing can be done... DIGI!!! "I will follow you, wherever you may go". Duh!!!

Sayang, I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes and no matter what it takes coz' you are my life. You are our life, Sampai Syurga!

Am I happy? Truly happy?

"Yes, I AM HAPPY."

The fact that I am happy or not, doesn't depend on anyone, but on me. "I am the only person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or "Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, my body, the climate, pleasures, etc. I could enumerate an infinite list... "Over my life I have learned a couple of things:

I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of "experiences or circumstances;" like helping and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with him, I have lived and practiced this many times... Happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving yourself and others, It's not the responsibility of others to make me happy... Everybody also have their "experiences or circumstances."

I love him and he loves me, often inspite of his circumstances and of mine. "He changes, I change, the environment changes, everything changes. Having forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes, that can be, big or little, but always happen, we must face them with the love that exists in each one of us. If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be "experiences and circumstances" that enrich us and give us strength. Otherwise we would only be "living together." For some, divorce is the only solution; (... in reality it is the easiest...) To truly love, is difficult. It is to forgive unconditionally, to live. To take the "experiences and circumstances" as they are. Facing them together and being happy with conviction.

There are those who say: "I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it's too cold, because they insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because someone didn't appreciate me!" But what you don't know is that you can be happy even though you are sich, whether it is too hot, whether you have money or not, whether someone has insulted you or someone didn't love you, or hasn't velued you.

BEING HAPPY is an attitude about life and each one of us must decide!

BEING HAPPY, depends on you!

Home Sick

Sudah 2 hari aku di rumah, demam. Rimas juga!!! Nak kemas rumah, badan tak sihat. Tak larat nak buat. Dari pagi asyik tidur je. Hari ni demam dah kurang tapi tekak aku ni gatal betul. Aku tak berani nak makan ubat batuk banyak-banyak sebab nanti mengantuk gila, tidur lagi. Aku dah rimas asyik tidur je. Pergerakan aku terbatas. Aku cuba juga kuatkan diri aku untuk membuat kerja-kerja rumah tapi badan aku memang tak larat. Aku harap selepas tengahari ni badan aku akan lebih selesa dan bolehlah aku berkemas sebab baju yang belum berlipat dah membukit tingginya kat sofa aku tu. Kalau orang datang, tentu kelam kabut aku dibuatnya.

Kadang-kadang tu teringin juga nak ada orang gaji supaya ringan sikit beban aku tapi bila difikir-fikirkan belum tiba masanya. Mungkin lain kali atau mungkin tidak!!! Bukan aku tak suka ada orang gaji ni tapi aku bimbang. Bimbang akan hilang privacy aku. Bimbang aku akan dapat orang gaji yang tak senonoh, nanti dia pulak yang berlagak macam 'mem'.

Sekarang ni, aku sedang tunggu anak-anak aku balik dari sekolah. Bila mereka dah balik nanti, taklah aku rasa sunyi lagi. Eeeee... boring juga kalau jadi surirumah sepenuh masa kan? Memang masa untuk diri sendiri dan masa untuk berkemas rumah tu banyak tapi nantilah, mungkin aku akan jadi surirumah sepenuh masa bila dia jadi 'YB' nanti (Insyaallah).

Movie Again!!!

Today we went to see "Prince of Persia - Sand of Time", like the movie so much coz I love watching movie with my loved ones and with the big screen, the sound system... what else would I want. Good movie.

Aku dan 24 Mei

Hari ini aku cuti sebab anak-anak dara aku tak sihat, kakak nak demam dan baby pula selsema. Kalau mereka ok pun memang sebenarnya aku dah pasang niat nak cuti hari ni. Bukannya apa, saja nak merihatkan badan dan otak.

24 Mei

Tarikh ini ada sejarahnya. Sejarah yang sepatutnya aku sudah lupakan tapi kata orang, tempat jatuh lagikan dikenang.

"Maafkan Su, Sayang. Bukan niat Su untuk mengingatkan kembali hari itu cuma Su rasa perlu luahkan apa yang masih terbuku di dada. Su sepatutnya lupakan sejarah hitam itu. Su tahu kalau bukan Su tiada orang lain yang boleh kembalikan kekuatan serta kebahagiaan Su. Su sendiri yang harus memberi peranan. Su sendiri yang harus kuat dan hanya Su sendiri yang boleh kembalikan kekuatan dan keyakinan Su. Insyaallah, kebahagiaan yang Su inginkan akan kembali menjadi milik kita berdua, milik kita sekeluarga. Semoga Allah memberkati hidup kita sekeluarga. Amin"